I've always found it silly that during the holidays, parents who still have children living with them tend to pay ridiculous amounts of attention to them. Maybe it's just because without work and other things to keep them busy their parental instincts kick in or maybe it's because they feel guilty about not spending enough time with their children during the rest of the year. Either way, SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR KIDS OUTSIDE THE HOLIDAYS. The increased amounts of love, care and nagging that we young'uns receive during the holidays is enough to drive anyone crazy. It's pretty obvious for children in this day and age when their parents suddenly begin to give them obnoxious amounts of attention. This extra love is even more obvious on the big days: Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's Eve. In families that seldom come together for dinner, it must be pretty awkward for everyone when they all must sit down together, eat and attempt to have a conversation. In a family like mine, where we do eat together every night, trying to add a feeling of uniqueness and togetherness to a big holiday meal on Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve is like trying to teach Bill Gates how to use a computer. It's fairly redundant since Bill Gates practically invented the modern computer and since my family already sits down together every night for dinner and have conversation. I love my family and they don't need to try to make what would have been a great meal even better.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, families that don't spend much time together in the regular year should spend more time together instead of overcompensating during the holidays. A little bit of time with your kids everyday instead of hours on end during the holidays will go a long way in keeping your kids (and you) sane. Happy Holidays!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
On the Issue of Racial Injustice
Before I start, let me clarify: I am not in any way a racist. I myself am a minority and often get called derogatory names by my friends and by those who actually hate me because of my race. There are some things you can bring the race card up for. But some people take it too far.
I was talking to a friend today, we'll call him "Taylor Hanson." Taylor had just shown me a gallery of animated ASCII art using common internet acronyms (http://www.rofl.name/asciiart/) when I came upon the titled "Lollercaust" depicting little ASCII figures getting killed by LOL and two little ASCII swastikas underneath. Being the jackal I am, I could not restrain myself from having a little laugh. Taylor said he felt bad about it and I couldn't help but wonder why. The Holocaust, although a terrible tragedy and a scar that marks human history, is in the past. I have a couple of Jewish friends who laugh it off whenever someone else makes an off-color Holocaust remark but I have also met several people who simply go fucking nuts when they hear something like that. They go on a righteous crusade explaining why we shouldn't make jokes like that and the obligatory story about someone they know who was a victim of the Holocaust (The exception is my roommate, The Roommate, whose great-uncle was actually a Waffen SS officer at Auschwitz. He laughs about it. I do too.)
Same thing with African-Americans. I often have to put up with rap music from my neighbors who are African-Americans. They have one song they play over and over. I can't hear most of it over the deafening bass, but the basic gist is that Blacks should be afraid of the Whites because the Whites really aren't sorry for slavery and if the Blacks don't watch out, they are going to get re-enslaved. I just don't fucking get that. That happened 400 years ago! It ended 150 years ago! Same with the Holocaust, that was over 50 years ago. I'm not saying forget about it and pretend like those things never happened. But get over it! We all learned about these things in school so we don't really want to hear the opinion of someone who doesn't even have a Ph.D in this area of history. Even if you did have a Ph.D specializing in the Holocaust or slavery, we probably wouldn't want to listen anyways. Most importantly, it didn't happen to YOU, the person who is throwing a fit because someone else brought it up in a negative light. Unless you are either (A) a very, very, very, very, very, very, old plantation slave or (B) an actual survivor of a Holocaust or (C) a person whose life has been DIRECTLY affected because of the Holocaust (None of this Grandpa Bagelstein didn't play with me when I was a child because he was too busy thinking about his old life back in Germany shit.) you don't get to talk about or bring it up.
If you want to talk about slavery or genocide, talk to me about Darfur or Somalia. There are people out there still getting killed while you bitch about a relative who has been six feet under for the past five decades or more. Hundreds of thousands are dead in Darfur with millions more displaced from their homes. In Somalia, children starve as a war rages on in their country. Instead of jabbering on uselessly with your trap, put it to some good use and spread the word about Darfur and Somalia.
Final thing, take a look at Japanese-Americans. They were unfairly interned by their government during World War II and you don't hear them or their descendants bitch and moan about how terrible it was sitting in a US detention camp. They realize that it's in the past and they should just get over it. If it happens again, which it won't, they'll deal with it when the time comes. Until then, they will look toward the future and try to take over the American economy and car market.
If you think I'm wrong in what I'm saying, feel free to drop me a line. Or you can ask your friends who don't feel the way you do how they feel whenever you burst into a rant because someone asked "Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?" Yes, it's a horrible thing to say. Yes, that person probably should not have said it. But there is no need for you to scream in his ear about how insensitive he is. If you think I'm right but are not sure on how to properly behave now that you know what you do pisses the hell out of everyone, here's a few simple and easy steps:
1) Ignore the urge to say "My great-grandfather/grandmother was a slave/imprisoned at Buchenwald.
2) Calmly go up to the person and say, "Excuse me, I found your comment/joke offensive. Could you not do that again?"
3) Watch in amazement as all your friends look up in suprise and unplug their ears.
4) E-mail me to thank me now that all your friends want to hang out with you more often.
I was talking to a friend today, we'll call him "Taylor Hanson." Taylor had just shown me a gallery of animated ASCII art using common internet acronyms (http://www.rofl.name/asciiart/) when I came upon the titled "Lollercaust" depicting little ASCII figures getting killed by LOL and two little ASCII swastikas underneath. Being the jackal I am, I could not restrain myself from having a little laugh. Taylor said he felt bad about it and I couldn't help but wonder why. The Holocaust, although a terrible tragedy and a scar that marks human history, is in the past. I have a couple of Jewish friends who laugh it off whenever someone else makes an off-color Holocaust remark but I have also met several people who simply go fucking nuts when they hear something like that. They go on a righteous crusade explaining why we shouldn't make jokes like that and the obligatory story about someone they know who was a victim of the Holocaust (The exception is my roommate, The Roommate, whose great-uncle was actually a Waffen SS officer at Auschwitz. He laughs about it. I do too.)
Same thing with African-Americans. I often have to put up with rap music from my neighbors who are African-Americans. They have one song they play over and over. I can't hear most of it over the deafening bass, but the basic gist is that Blacks should be afraid of the Whites because the Whites really aren't sorry for slavery and if the Blacks don't watch out, they are going to get re-enslaved. I just don't fucking get that. That happened 400 years ago! It ended 150 years ago! Same with the Holocaust, that was over 50 years ago. I'm not saying forget about it and pretend like those things never happened. But get over it! We all learned about these things in school so we don't really want to hear the opinion of someone who doesn't even have a Ph.D in this area of history. Even if you did have a Ph.D specializing in the Holocaust or slavery, we probably wouldn't want to listen anyways. Most importantly, it didn't happen to YOU, the person who is throwing a fit because someone else brought it up in a negative light. Unless you are either (A) a very, very, very, very, very, very, old plantation slave or (B) an actual survivor of a Holocaust or (C) a person whose life has been DIRECTLY affected because of the Holocaust (None of this Grandpa Bagelstein didn't play with me when I was a child because he was too busy thinking about his old life back in Germany shit.) you don't get to talk about or bring it up.
If you want to talk about slavery or genocide, talk to me about Darfur or Somalia. There are people out there still getting killed while you bitch about a relative who has been six feet under for the past five decades or more. Hundreds of thousands are dead in Darfur with millions more displaced from their homes. In Somalia, children starve as a war rages on in their country. Instead of jabbering on uselessly with your trap, put it to some good use and spread the word about Darfur and Somalia.
Final thing, take a look at Japanese-Americans. They were unfairly interned by their government during World War II and you don't hear them or their descendants bitch and moan about how terrible it was sitting in a US detention camp. They realize that it's in the past and they should just get over it. If it happens again, which it won't, they'll deal with it when the time comes. Until then, they will look toward the future and try to take over the American economy and car market.
If you think I'm wrong in what I'm saying, feel free to drop me a line. Or you can ask your friends who don't feel the way you do how they feel whenever you burst into a rant because someone asked "Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?" Yes, it's a horrible thing to say. Yes, that person probably should not have said it. But there is no need for you to scream in his ear about how insensitive he is. If you think I'm right but are not sure on how to properly behave now that you know what you do pisses the hell out of everyone, here's a few simple and easy steps:
1) Ignore the urge to say "My great-grandfather/grandmother was a slave/imprisoned at Buchenwald.
2) Calmly go up to the person and say, "Excuse me, I found your comment/joke offensive. Could you not do that again?"
3) Watch in amazement as all your friends look up in suprise and unplug their ears.
4) E-mail me to thank me now that all your friends want to hang out with you more often.
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